Balls of Shit

There were five people in the west wing of St. Joseph's. They were
the permanent patients with little or no chance of ever being released
for fear of what might come to the public.

The patient that I am interested in this day is Maximilian. He has
had a terrible habit of rolling his shit up into little balls and
rolling them down the corridor. The nurses and sisters had tried in
vain to have this disgusting habit ceased, but they were trying in
vain. They offered him bribes of all sorts from women visitors to
cigarettes, when one day they hit the nail on the head. "It's
christmas coming up," the sister said, "And I think that you might
like a nice big bag of Fantails."

Max's eyes lit up like the christmas tree in the TV room at the mere
though of chocolate. It had been an O-so-long time since he'd had
Fantails. "You have only to do one thing," the sister continued. "You
must stop this habit of rolling your little balls of shit down the
hallway."

"No problem," Max replied.

For two whole weeks Max never rolled a single ball of shit down the
hallway (or more correctly, never did he roll a ball of shit AND get
caught!) So Christmas day finally came and the lovely nurses and
sisters all chipped in and got Max his nice big box of Fantails.

He was sooo over-joyed at this present that he immediately opened the
box and unwrapped a couple and threw them straight into his mouth.
Wanting to show his appreciation he immediately offered the sisters
and nurses some as well. Maximilian then went to the TV room where he
saw his friends and gave them a couple of Fantails too.

Remembering there was a patient he's never seen at the other end of
the hallway, he went down there and offered him a Fantail as well.

"Get out of here, you bloody moron," came a voice when he entered the
room.

"I just want to give you a Fantail," Max said, so politely and
innocently.

"Well, if they're anything like those malteesers of your, I DON'T WANT
ANY!"


... A mistake is something a virgin and a skydiver can only make once