A blind man and a restaurant

"A Blind Man"

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter,
who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him
a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu.
Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it
and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and
picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and
hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ahh, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her
what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.

"Sir, remember ? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."

The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great,
I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind
man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next
time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but
this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He
tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it
to the blind man."

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the
blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already
have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says,

"Hey! I didn't know that Mary worked here!"

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A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his
lawyer.

"If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no! This judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that
would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of
court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the
defendant.

As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for
the tip about the cigars. It worked!"

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But, I did send them."

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.

"Yes. That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's
business card."