Bite Balls

Two rednecks, Jake and Bubba, were sitting in a bar one night
watching rasslin' on the tube. At the end of the match was an
advertisement. A loud, obnoxious character came on screaming about
the $10,000 dollars prize money for anyone who could defeat "The
Killer".

Jake looked at Bubba, a 6' 4" giant with the brain the size of a pea,
and got an idea. He told Bubba, "I bet you could beat that guy. He
doesn't look so rough, and you're no wimp." Bubba thought about it
for a minute and agreed that he probably could.

The next weekend Jake and Bubba went down to the stadium where the
tournament was to be held and signed Bubba up. An old man came up and
started briefing them on the rules of the contest and such. Jake,
seeing Bubba was a bit nervous, asked the old man for any tips. The
old man looked up to Bubba and said, "Just you watch out for his
pretzel hold. Ain't nobody ever gotten out that thing."

One by one, the contestants ahead of Bubba went in and came back
balled up and hurting. Two hours after they arrived, Bubba's turn was
finally up. In the ring, right before the bell rang, Bubba looked
back at Jake and said, "Don't worry buddy. I can avoid that pretzel
thing." But not ten seconds after he had gotten up in the ring was
The Killer laying on top of the contorted ball of Bubba and the
referee was pounding the mat, counting to ten.

Jake screamed and started walking back to the locker rooms. He was
pissed. He had shelled out $500 to get Bubba in this contest, and it
didn't last 20 seconds. But right before he got to the door, the
crowd went wild! Jake ran back to the ring to see Bubba with one foot
on top of the unconscious Killer and one armed raised in the air by
the referee. Jake ran into the ring and jumped on Bubba. The crowd
was out of control, and Jake and Bubba were $10,000 richer!

Later in the locker room, Jake confessed to Bubba he didn't see what
happened. Bubba said, "Well, The Killer got me in his pretzel hold
and I thought all was lost. I hurt like I'd never hurt before and all
I could hear was the ref slamming his hand down counting to ten. Then
I looked and front of me and saw this big, hairy sack of balls. I had
nothing to lose and figured it might even help. So I stretched a
little further and bit down as hard as I could on those things."

"Jake," Bubba said. "You wouldn't believe the strength a man gets
when he bites his own balls."