The Mailman's Last Day

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after
35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather
to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house
on his route he wa greeted by the whole family there, who
roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his
way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine
cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific
fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly
beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by
the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed
behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where
she blew his mind with the most passionate love he ever
experience. When he had enough they went downstairs,
where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham,
sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange
juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup
of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar
bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's
the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today
would be your last day, and that we should do something
special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said,
'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."